tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-274388032024-03-07T00:44:27.130-05:00Our Older SonA Jew Goes HomeOOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-62106464672044102222007-11-14T09:44:00.000-05:002007-11-18T11:03:47.696-05:00Israeli styleOh yeah, I write a blog. Almost forgot.<br /><br />Not that I am returning with anything important. Today's topic is Israeli style, of which I have become somewhat of an expert.<br /><br />Here are a few of note:<br /><br /><em>Nuclear waste hair dye</em>: Have you ever seen an Israeli woman with an abnormal hair color? Stupid question. Have you ever seen a woman with normal color hair? Yes, at some point it became fashionable for women to color their hair blood red, or neon orange, or some other color of puke. What type of place would offer these shades? Where do they get their hair done? Dimona?<br /><br /><em>Plumber jeans</em>: Yes this one is just like it sounds. Except everyone in Israel seems to be a plumber.<br /><br /><em>Bling bling charedi shirts:</em> But don't worry as long as they are still white.<br /><br /><em>Male belly shirts: </em>As far as I am concerned men (and women for that matter) should keep their navels to themselves.<br /><br /><em>Face Shadow:</em> Let's try to keep the eye shadow on your eyes (that one was from IH-- I wouldn't have noticed)OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-89099493727291134082007-09-30T12:48:00.000-04:002007-09-30T13:03:40.918-04:00Uppa's legacy (or at least a part)My dad <a href="http://mochassid.blogspot.com/2007/09/pulling-uppa-my-dad-zl-was-big-mets-fan.html">posted </a>about leaving ball games early just like my grandfather z"l would do. <br /><br />I am happy to report that <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">bnei</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">banim</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">harei</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">hame</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">k'banim</span>.</em><br /><br />Brad was upset and philosophically opposed to the practice, and his points are well taken.<br /><br />But a few points of my (or our) own:<br /><br />1. I would agree with you if the game in question was basketball or hockey contest where the experience is based largely around the excitement and energy in the arena. However baseball to me is far more about relaxation than excitement. Getting stuck in traffic after the game ruins the whole experience. And if I might miss some excitement at the end, so be it, it's not why I came in the first place.<br /><br />2. The satisfaction of a clear Van <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Wyck</span> goes beyond not wasting time myself. It is also about the poor suckers who stayed and will have to drive through a big mess.<br /><br />3. Sorry, but there is something about leaving events early that is ingrained in the collective <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">unconscious</span> of the greater <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">MoC</span> family that you are probably not going to get no matter how hard you try.<br /><br />Perfect example: This summer my wife and I took our son to a <a href="http://www.thewiggles.com.au/">Wiggles </a>concert. As I saw the concert winding down I said to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">IH</span> "seventh inning, time to go."<br /><br />On second thought, perhaps we are (or just I am) a little sick.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-12148590032331567282007-09-05T07:54:00.000-04:002007-09-06T09:15:51.468-04:00Orthodoxy and the field of mental healthRecently, while riding the bus I eavesdropped on a conversation between a young religious woman around my age and a woman who appeared to be an old teacher of hers from seminary. The two women, whom I gathered had not seen each other in a few years were busy catching up, and the teacher asked her old student what she was up to. When the student replied that she was in college studying psychology the teacher responded, "Oh, very nice. I have been thinking about going to college to study psychology, I think that it would help me understand my students better."<br /><br />She continued, "I think that psychology has a lot to offer. Of course, anything that contradicts the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">torah</span> you just have to throw out the window."<br /><br />While I find this teacher's desire to improve her ability to connect with her students admirable there are two things that puzzle me.<br /><br />First, her statement regarding things that she might learn that will "contradict the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">torah</span>." Perhaps I haven't been looking hard enough, but no psychological theory that I have seen has <em>contradicted</em> the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">torah</span>, and actually, I cannot fathom how it could pose such a <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">stira</span></em>.<br /><br />Now, if she would have phrased her statement differently, like say, "Anything that might be improper for a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">bas</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">yisroel</span> to read I will have to avoid", I might have understood-- especially considering her desire for insight as opposed to making mental health a career. Freud himself, notwithstanding his genius, was a fairly serious <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">menuval</span>, </em>so I can certainly fathom and identify with such a concern.<br /><br />What really bothered me was the anticipation. This woman, who most assuredly had never given more than a glance at any of the field's literature, had already concluded that there were large chunks of it that were incompatible with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">yiddeshkeit</span>.<br /><br />What bothers me further still is the field's reputation as being somewhat <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">kephiradic</span></em> and in opposition to rabbinic Judaism-- as if therapists have the desire to undermine <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">rabbanim</span>, and change the values of the religious community. Some of the blame falls on us, as I do believe that there is an element of mental health professionals who believe that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">rabbanim</span> should stay away from any type of therapy. An older woman with whom I worked last year, and who believed that the only part of the therapy process in which <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">rabbanim</span> should take part is the referral, comes to mind. However, in my, admittedly limited, experience these people are the minority.<br /><br />I was recently asked by a young lawyer if I was worried about some of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">halachically</span> problematic situations that would arise for me in the future. When I asked for an example he responded, "I don't know, lets say someone comes in and says that he has homosexual feelings, and that he doesn't know what to do." I told him that I am not sure why that would be problematic-- that is where the work begins.<br /><br />It occurred to me that I should have replied with the classic technique of responding to a question with a question. In this case how he intends to deal with his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">firm's</span> not so subtle encouragement of over billing. I would assume that such a case is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">halachically</span> stickier, and one that definitely occurs more often.<br /><br />The point is that sure, there is always a complex interplay for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">frum</span> therapist regarding the sometimes conflicting values of the two worlds that he or she is a part. Nevertheless, this should not <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">pasul</span></em> the profession. On the contrary I believe if utilized correctly this conflict can enhance the self tremendously. Moreover, I would <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">fiercely</span> contend that other professions that are more <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">business</span> oriented pose greater <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">halachic</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">dilemmas</span> for a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">frum</span> Jew.<br /><br />The second thing that bothered me was the fact that if she would find something that would contradict the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">torah</span> she would have to "throw it out the window."<br /><br />Using the assumption that nothing in psychology refutes the basic tenants of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">torah</span>, let's assume that what she meant is that anything that might stray at all from what <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">chazal</span> said (again, I am unsure of what that might be, but let's assume it exists) is to be immediately discarded.<br /><br />I certainly understand that we must be wary when it comes to <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">divrei</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">chazal</span>,</em> but the attitude of <em>throwing out</em> as opposed to <em>dealing with</em> just bothers me. You can read any of the many things written regarding the whole <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Slifkin</span> affair, as I have no desire to rehash this topic. Just wanted to mention it.<br /><br />Again, from the little I have come across, psychological research confirms the teachings of our sages far more often than it attacks them. And although the tide has begun to turn within the orthodox world regarding the field of mental health, I still perceive more than a little bit of misgiving. The bottom line is that the orthodox community needs the mental health profession, whether or not it wishes to concede as much.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-38511318869113249692007-09-02T14:32:00.000-04:002007-09-02T15:02:56.421-04:00Jet lag and 9:00 minyanimFlying east stinks. It really stinks with little kids.<br /><br />Truth be told, I have nothing to complain about-- my kids were angels on the flight here. Once we arrived though it was a bit of a different story. I hate jet lag. <br /><br />The first few nights my wife and I were up until 3:00 in the morning trying to convince our kids that they were tired (and yes, I hear all you parents who've passed this wonderful stage snickering in the background). <br /><br />Hence the 9:00 minyanim part of the title. As an early riser, my experience davening in this type of quorum is limited. <br /><br />It seems to me that there are two types of people who go to these minyanim on a consistent basis: A. People with nothing to do who enjoy davening, and B. People with nothing to do who want to get davening over with. <br /><br />The best comparison I can make to the former is the proverbial Uncle Ned who surfs, plays video games with you, and is generally quite a hoot. Its always great spending an hour or two with Uncle Ned, but soon his antics become tiresome and you lose patience (I never had an Uncle Ned, which is too bad). <br /><br />Sadly, this type of 9:00 minyan guy is probably the majority here in Israel, and trust me, there are a LOT of 9:00 minyan guys in the holy land. I was so far ahead that I found myself reading those corny intros to the artscroll siddur. <br /><br />If you go to <a href="http://ooson.blogspot.com/2007/04/people-i-want-to-kill.html">the shul down the block from me </a>on a Friday night you will find a great deal of these holy yidden, bless their souls, inspiring me to name them "Kabbalas Shabbos Jews." KBJ are an interesting phenomenon-- I hope to write a more in depth post about them one of these days. (I don't mean to criticize (especially during Elul)<span style="font-size:85%;">(well, maybe I'm criticizing a little).</span> The backgrounds of these Jews are often not your typical FFB, and the mere fact that they are somewhat in the fold is a <em>neis</em>.)OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-65864883696537159632007-08-26T16:51:00.001-04:002007-08-26T16:51:51.121-04:00Going back homeAmerica has been great, but its time.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-33889260677487716062007-08-23T17:20:00.000-04:002007-08-26T16:50:41.214-04:00Father daughter bondingOn the way back from Philly where we saw the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Phillies</span> get crushed.<br /><br />My strange and twisted brain was only about 75 percent invested in the game. The other <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">quarter</span> was busy observing my surroundings-- mostly to poke fun.<br /><br />The topic for today is fathers taking their daughters to games.<br /><br />Generally these dads fall into three categories.<br /><br />1. Dads with daughters who are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">knowledgeable</span> or at least interested in baseball. Lucky for my dad his two daughters fall into this category. Still, let's be honest guys. Even if a girl knows that there are three outs in an inning or even that A- Rod is having a fantastic year you can't argue the merits of the double switch or whether the pitcher should bunt with one out and a runner on first with a chick. There are very few women who won't spend a good amount of a baseball game thinking about whether David Wright would look better with his socks pulled up. Consider yourself lucky if you are a dad who falls into this category.<br /><br />2. Over intense good dad with disinterested daughters. The first two innings are spent trying to explain the difference between a fastball and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">change up</span> until he realizes that Sally and Jill are more interested in why the players slap each others butts. He then gives up and just buys them lots of cotton candy. Despite the sweets he is forced to leave his seat and go exploring for half the game, and, being a good dad, he is generally able to keep his emotions in check.<br /><br />3. Over intense bad dad. See 2 except he sends his daughters exploring on their own, and, being a bad dad, is mostly unable to keep his emotions in check.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-7319241277867300762007-08-06T22:29:00.000-04:002007-08-07T11:37:42.201-04:00Today's random wikipedia searchYes, the fact that I perform random <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">wikipedia</span> searches makes me only slightly less nerdy than the guy who wrote <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luminoth">this article. </a><br /><br />10 points for anyone who can get through it.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-57264210953440347532007-08-01T12:17:00.000-04:002007-08-01T12:54:06.225-04:00I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!Research tells us that among fathers who are highly involved parents there exists infinitesimal difference between them and their wives in terms of parenting capacities (Ninio & Rinott, 1988).<br /><br />The research failed to take me into account.<br /><br />It has been less than a week since I finished school, and it is clear that I can't even come close to my eishes chayil.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong. I love my kids more than anything in the world, and I know that I am a good dad. But the whole stay at home abba thing is not for me.<br /><br />I think my problem is that, being a disciplined person, I can't deal with the times that my two and a half and one year olds act like two and a half and one year olds. My brother- in- law once actually said to his son who was two at the time and throwing a nasty tantrum, "stop acting like a two year old!!!"<br /><br />Oh... the other problem is that I am a moron, and any decisiveness or common sense that I might display outside the house is lost once I step through the door. <br /><br />A typical scene IH encounters when she returns from an errand that took 20 minutes:<br /><br />Two and a half year old is gouging out his one year old sister's eyes while she desperately clings onto a block he is trying to wrestle from her. I sit on the couch reading.<br /><br />IH: What's going on?<br />Me: They're playing.<br />IH: They're not playing, they're killing each other.<br /><br />I'm fairly certain that had Ninio and Rinott observed me they would have quickly revised their work.<br /><br />Ninio, A., Rinott, N. (1988). Fathers’ involvement in the care of their infants and their attributions of cognitive competence to infants. Child Development, 59, 652- 663 <br /> (if anyone is interested)OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-89319588408159932302007-07-30T08:34:00.000-04:002007-07-30T21:33:02.128-04:00A new kind of discriminationSocial workers are compelled to seek and destroy discrimination and injustice. We fight for the rights of the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">underprivileged</span> and battle for the oppressed.<br /><br />Most social workers find their calling in the advocacy of the same old demoralized populations: The poor, the elderly, minorities, blah, blah , blah. How cliche.<br /><br />As a social worker with true idealism I aim to go beyond ordinary oppression, and find discrimination in new places.<br /><br />And I believe I have found my calling: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Nusach</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">sefard</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">siddurim</span>.<br /><br />Anyone who <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">davens</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Ashkenaz</span> can go into a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">nusach</span> Ari <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">shul</span> and easily find a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">siddur</span> of their <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">nusach</span>. These <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">nussach</span> Ari <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">shuls</span> have the consideration to place a few <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">siddurim</span> for the minority in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">their</span> midst.<br /><br />Can the same be said for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">nusach</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">ashkenaz</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">shuls</span>??? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Nooooooooooooooo</span>.<br /><br />Go into any Young Israel and find me a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">nusach</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">sefard</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">siddur</span>. Go ahead. I dare you to try. You'll be searching for a long time.<br /><br />Is this fair? I SAY NO!!!!<br /><br />Join me brothers as we combat this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">nusach</span> Ari discrimination, and then we can all live in peace.<br /><br />(By the way, the stuff about ordinary oppression at the top of this post <em>is a <u>joke</u></em>. It is kind of sad that I need to spell that out, but from my minimal experience blogging it is clear that I do.)OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-34144568643836909922007-07-25T13:56:00.001-04:002007-07-25T20:47:18.966-04:00What it takesA and B, recent American <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">olim</span>, walk into the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">misrad</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">hapnim</span> in order to fill out some routine paperwork. Both get the necessary forms from the front desk, take numbers, and wait. And wait. And wait.<br /><br />Two hours later both A and B have their numbers' called. They sit down facing irritable agents who chew gum and talk on cell phones to their boyfriends. A and B both hand over the filled out forms, both are told that the documentation that they have brought with them is insufficient and that they must go to office X located in Y, get the necessary documentation, and<br />then return.<br /><br />Both A and B had taken the morning off from work to come to the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">misrad</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">hapnim</span> in the first place and neither of them have the time to go running around to different offices. Both A and B had called ahead to make sure that the documentation they had was sufficient, and both were assured that what they had was fine.<br /><br />A and B walk out of the building. A wears a look of anger/exasperation. B's lips start to curl upward, he looks to the heavens and says, "You gotta love this place."<br /><br />A and B both call their wives. A says to her, "I hate Israelis." B says to his wife, "I love Israelis."<br /><br />Every single American <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">oleh</span> can identify with the above case. The experiences of A and B were identical and not abnormal. That being the case, what made the two react so differently?<br /><br />When we first planned our <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">aliya</span> the advice I was constantly given was, "Have a sense of humor about everything. You'll have good stories to tell."<br /><br />This is good advice. There is no getting around the fact that Americans and Israelis are different. Every American will encounter situations that will evoke feelings of aggravation, and the key to getting over these feelings is having a good support system and a sense of humor.<br /><br />But having a sense of humor about it all is not as easy as it sounds. Some of these things can really tick you off, and its not as simple as "just get over it."<br /><br />But what is that <em><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">nekuda</span>?</em><br /><br />Jay <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Belsky</span> wrote a book called <u><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Transition-Parenthood-Jay-Belsky/dp/0440506980/ref=sr_1_1/105-0084575-4954810?ie=UTF8&s=books&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;qid=1185387383&sr=8-1">The transition to parenthood</a></u> (a must read for new parents by the way) in which he talks about how the arrival of a baby impacts the relationship of the parents. He looked into positivity in parenting, and his research shows that parental optimism correlates strongly with marital satisfaction.<br /><br />One thing in particular intrigued me. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Belsky</span> found that some parents who are not optimists by nature can nevertheless increase their level of positivity by the mere presence of the baby. In other words, the love these particular parents feel towards their babies negates any irritable feelings they might have at a particular time.<br /><br />I find this amazing, because I think we can extend this to other areas of life.<br /><br />Like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">aliya</span>.<br /><br />I think the key to staying positive about Israel is having something to be positive about. It is kind of amazing what parents put up with from their children, yet in healthy families they do just that because they love those kids.<br /><br />You would also be amazed what people with a true love of Israel will put up with. Like the parents in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Belsky's</span> research they gain positivity from their love of the land. It allows them to smile in the face of enormous irritation.<br /><br />But how to acquire this love?<br /><br />For me, the only way to love the land is to know the land. To understand what <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Eretz</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Yisrael</span> means to me as a Jew. In order to do this it is important to learn about Israel. Read <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Rav</span> Kook, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Rav</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Teichtel</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Rav</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Yehudah</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Halevi</span>-- Jews who really had a thirst for the land. Whose every waking moment was devoted to it. Read the history of the land-- from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Avraham</span> through the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">meraglim</span>, through Greek and Roman times, through modern Israel. Learn about what we have given up for this little piece of earth. Hang around individuals who love Israel-- it will rub off on you.<br /><br />I get scared when I hear of people making <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">aliya</span> for external reasons. Yes, the learning is great here, but you can learn well in the States too. Yes, we don't pay for health insurance, but the money you save on that will be lost <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">elsewhere</span>. Simply put, the only reason to live in Israel is to live in Israel.<br /><br />And when you understand that you can smile.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-73020654946403306912007-06-25T08:49:00.000-04:002007-06-25T08:54:41.479-04:00Am I a kvetch?I get easily annoyed in elevators.<br /><br />The topic for today is something that I probably have no right to get upset about, but it annoys me nonetheless, and I want to get some feedback about it.<br /><br />I get ticked off when I am on an elevator and I have pushed a high floor, say number 10. Another person gets on and pushes 6. A third person joins us, he is young and able bodied. He sees that floor six is lit up, and then pushes 5 or 7.<br /><br />This annoys me, because he is wasting my time. Whenever I see that someone has pushed the floor directly above or below my floor I just get off with that person and either go up or descend a flight.<br /><br />Am I just being a kvetch?OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-80207963000030827882007-06-20T11:04:00.000-04:002007-06-20T14:03:07.883-04:00Something about this...<a href="http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3414933,00.html">...doesn't make sense</a><br /><br />Does anybody remember the uproar last year? I don't think the eida hacheredis has suddenly become multicultural.<br /><br />What is really going on behind the scenes here?<br /><br />Can anyone make sense of this?<br /><br />Help me out here.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-69576966396974810872007-06-20T08:14:00.000-04:002007-06-20T08:34:46.848-04:00Home? Or just back?<span style="font-family:arial;">The outbreak of Oleh Self Righteousness Syndrome has some interesting ramifications, particularly in the way Americans perceive olim. The guilt that I have spoken about is evident in the way I am spoken to now that I am back in the States.<br /><br />Usually what happens is this. I see Old Friend Or Acquaintance, and go over to say hello. With a big smile they say, "Hey OOS great to see you. Welcome home."<br /><br />Then suddenly a look of the deepest fear/worry/shame/guilt (and perhaps just a touch off annoyance) overtakes their faces, and they quickly exclaim, "I mean welcome back. Of course, welcome back. Not home."<br /><br />To anyone who thinks that OSRS is harmless these exchanges are exhibit A. Why have we undergone this uncomfortable way of greeting? Why the quick and nervous clarification of their salutation? Is it because they truly believe that America is not home?<br /><br />Of course not. The awkwardness is a direct result of having been corrected countless times by smug olim who either say, "Back, not home" or portray an expression of the deepest loathing at the nerve of these Americans to equate the U.S. with home.<br /><br />In fact, for numerous reasons I make an effort to repress my instinct to call America "home." But please, if you OFOA see me in the street don't be scared to call this country what it really is.</span>OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-1070687592867251182007-06-13T13:34:00.000-04:002007-06-13T13:40:00.136-04:00People I admireI can't help but be awed by the numerous Israelis in my graduate program, or for that matter, American students in Israeli schools, and marvel at the work they put into studying in a foreign language. I was recently speaking to an Israeli classmate and we were lamenting the fact that we were required to read what amounted to over 90 pages for just one of our six classes. However, what emerged were two very different stories. What had taken me an hour and a half to read had taken her <strong>4 HOURS!!! </strong>I can't even imagine what it must be like.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-38148253859166948572007-06-05T14:25:00.001-04:002007-06-06T17:55:45.799-04:00Everything in moderation<span style="font-family:arial;">Going to the "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">matzah</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">minyan</span>" in the Young Israel of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Kew</span> Garden Hills is sort of like getting drunk: Fun and interesting once a year, but debilitating on a regular basis. If you have never experienced th<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">is</span> phenomenon I strongly recommend doing so. It is marvelous.<br /><br />What I like best about that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">minyan</span> is the guys who leave early. I'm not talking taking your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">tefillin</span> off during <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">alienu</span> early. These guys are out by the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">beginning</span> of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">tachanun</span>.<br /><br />I know that most of them run supermarkets or other shops that need to be opened very early, but still, it requires a certain type of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">azus</span> only <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">frum</span> Jews can muster in order to leave halfway through an eighteen minute <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">minyan</span>.</span>OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-14200093010735420002007-06-04T18:29:00.000-04:002007-06-04T18:32:22.664-04:00Kinda CreepyWhat kind of individual would perform <a href="http://www.google.de/search?hl=de&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=seminary%20girls%20hot%20geula&meta=">this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">google</span> search</a>?<br /><br />And what does it say about my blog that I am the first result?OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-77251761252291858452007-06-01T16:55:00.000-04:002007-06-01T17:08:22.294-04:00Joys revisitedOne of my favorite pastimes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pre</span>- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">aliya</span> was tuning in to the sports radio stations after a local team had lost, and listening to the callers lament their teams, their lives, and the tragedy in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Darfur</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Woops</span>, nope, they don't really care about trivial matters like that.<br /><br />A general example:<br /><br />Radio jockey: Looks like our next caller is Jim from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Kanarsi</span>. Jim, what's up.<br /><br />Jim: Mike, I have had it. I have had it with this team, with this <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">quarterback</span>. I, I, I just don't know what to say.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">RJ</span>: Yeah, I feel you Jim, that was a pretty dismal performance.<br /><br />J: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Someone's</span> gotta go Mike, I mean this is crazy already.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">RJ</span>: Yeah, I feel you Jim. That was a pretty dismal performance.<br /><br />J: I mean, the pass rush wasn't there, that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">freakin</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">quarterback</span> kept <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">throwin</span> interceptions. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Someone's</span> gotta go Mike.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">RJ</span>: Yeah, I feel you Jim. That was a pretty dismal performance. Okay, who do we got next? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Jonny</span> in Queens your up...<br /><br />Actually, reading this over I think Carl Rogers may have come up with the formula for client centered therapy from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">WFAN</span>. This ranting does seem <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">therapeutic</span>. <br /><br />In any event I am busy making up for lost time.<br /><br />Oops, gotta go. Yanks just lost another one.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-66450714412921428332007-06-01T16:45:00.000-04:002007-06-01T16:55:31.234-04:00I hate Israeli banksEnough saidOOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-89688663181836777392007-05-21T23:33:00.000-04:002007-05-21T23:45:38.543-04:00Leavin' on a jet planeOn Sunday the OOS family will b"h be flying back to New York so that I can attend (amazingly productive, interesting, efficient, motivating, and mind blowing) classes, which will bring to a conclusion our first year in Israel. <br /><br />It has been an amazing ride that brings new experiences daily, and often ends up with me looking foolish.<br /><br />There are two things that I can state clearly. One is that Aliya is not easy-- at least for us. Two, if taken with a bit of humor aliya can cause one to grow in ways unimagined.<br /><br />I do not know if I will get a chance to post before I get to the States, nor do I know how much time I will have once there.<br /><br />In any event I would like to thank all of you who have taken the time to read my mindless blabber. I hope you got something out of it.<br /><br />And please come back for year two.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-79640728834104544482007-05-21T03:21:00.000-04:002007-05-21T09:31:02.999-04:00Another ClarificationI know that the smart thing would be to ignore all of this, but for some reason this whole social work kerfuffle (is that a word?) is annoying me.<br /><br />There have <a href="https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=6591025&postID=1525427975854068978">been</a> <a href="http://ooson.blogspot.com/2007/05/clarification.html">questions </a>as to whether I am cut out for the work, given the feelings I expressed in a recent post, which I have since deleted. There are those who feel that I am insensitive to the struggles of minority groups, or perhaps that I am even a bigot.<br /><br />I am not.<br /><br />No self- respecting mental health professional would ever make an assessment without having first met the individual being assessed. I find it absurd that someone would diagnose me as a racist based on a few words posted to a weblog. I can't convince anyone of anything that they do not want to believe, but the words that were written in that post-- although perhaps reckless and definitely ill- advised-- were not intended to be insensitive. I have already apologized for writing that post.<br /><br />I would like to make a few points of my own.<br /><br />The two people who responded (or is it one person?) seem to be troubled by my entry into the field of social work. Based on my comments "it makes no sense" that I would want to pursue this degree. <br /><br />Well, I have a confession to make: I didn't want to go into social work originally. In fact, I used the MSW to get a degree that would allow me to become a therapist. You see, when I was in the States I had a decision to make. I wanted both a doctorate in psychology, and to make <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">aliya</span>. The doctorate would take around six years, and I didn't want to wait, so I chose to get a degree that would allow me to make <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">aliya</span> immediately, or in your words a "degree that any idiot can get over the summer."<br /><br />As it happened, through my reading, I became somewhat enamored with many of social work's distinct characteristics such as its emphasis on empathy, systems theory, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">de</span>-emphasis of the medical model, and I came to realize that my sheltered upbringing shielded me from true suffering that many populations are exposed to. <br /><br />However, just as I accepted many of social work's theories I reserved the right to reject some as well. For example, I patently reject as absurd the notion that perpetual poverty is solely a result of oppression. Don't get me wrong, I am not a Charles Murray guy either, and welfare is an enormously positive thing when used correctly, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">c'mon</span>, let's get real here guys. <br /><br />If the field of social work can't tolerate professionals whose views don't correspond exactly with the greater profession than it will receive morons. They will indeed be asking for "low rent therapists." I for one will not apologize for holding on to my individual views. While I understand the need to be sensitive I won't conform to the PC obsession that grips my profession. To suggest that "it makes no sense" for me to be a social worker given what I wrote truly makes no sense.<br /><br />One more thing: I still cannot grasp the commenter's obsession with my "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">frum</span> colleagues." What does being <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">frum</span> have to do with anything? Or are you guilty of the same discrimination of which you accuse me?OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-44228962544246187152007-05-19T14:15:00.000-04:002007-05-20T03:35:13.928-04:00A clarificationI have deleted my previous post after a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">commenter</span> responded with this:<br /><blockquote>A few points:1) So what is a smart person like you doing getting a worthless degree from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">WSSW</span>?2) I wish <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">frum</span> guys would get over the idea that social worker is the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">pc</span> term for "low-rent therapist" and "degree that any idiot can get over the summer" and seriously consider the history and goals of the social work<br />movement before embarking on a career in the field. 3) If you really think that all homeless people are "lazy good for nothing psychos" you should seriously consider a different career. Or is "lazy good for nothing psychos" just the non-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">pc</span> term for victims of domestic violence and sexual and emotional abuse and sufferers of severe mental illness?4) Yes, social work is at odds with most social-conservative (hence Republican)values. Social work believes in social engineering and the government's responsibility to aid certain underprivileged<br />classes of people. Was this very basic idea lost on you when you enrolled?5) I'm glad your MSW class stressed those ideas of social inclusion. Why? because even though they are little more than the touchy-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">feely</span> ideas you get from public television shows for preschoolers, they run counter to the deeply held bigotry that you implicitly express (and is shared by many of your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">frum</span> colleagues) in<br />what you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">havewritten</span>:"We hate Homos.""We hate <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">shvartzes</span>.""We hate Spics""We hate those dark-skinned immigrants who bring disease, crime, and smelly food to our wonderful country.""We hate homeless people who are really nothing more than 'lazy good for nothing psychos'."Well, at least you will be practicing in Israel and come to the realization that a country full of Jews suffers from the same social maladies as the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">goyishe</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">velt</span>.Disclosure: I am affiliated with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">YU</span>, but not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">WSSW</span> in particular. </blockquote>There is a great deal that I would like to say, but this is not the forum. For now let me leave it at this. I never meant "We hate homos, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">schvartzas</span>, and immigrants." I definitely do not believe that homeless people are "lazy good for nothing psychos." However, after reading the post again I see that one could easily have gotten that impression from what was written and I apologize for that. If the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">commenter</span> who responded would like to pursue this further I can be contacted at ooson123@hotmail.comOOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-63916107677409073682007-05-15T15:35:00.000-04:002007-05-15T15:45:56.163-04:00Seminary GirlsBen Chorin <a href="http://benchorin.blogspot.com/2007/05/from-time-to-time-daughter-of-old.html">recently mentioned </a>his less than riveting experiences with Seminary girls who come to visit for Shabbos.<br /><br />Being a firm believer in the merits of piling on I present the following story, which affirms about 500 different stereotypes regarding Seminary/Stern girls.<br /><br />During Simchas Torah of my second year learning in Israel, there was talk of a airport workers strike in JFK, and rumors floated around that the motzai yom tov plane that would be carrying many Americans back to the States would be forced to land and stop over in Europe. I was sitting with my future wife in a hotel lobby when I heard the following conversation between two seminary girls:<br /><br />Seminary Girl 1: Did you know that we might need to stop in Europe?<br />Seminary Girl 2: Yeah, that really stinks.<br />SG 1: Well, maybe we can go shopping.<br />SG 2: Yeah, but with our luck we will probably land in a bad European country like... Saudi Arabia.<br />SG 1: Yeah, I know.<br /><br />(This story is true. I could not have made this up if I tried.)OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-71724997235646362402007-05-15T11:07:00.000-04:002007-05-15T11:25:07.021-04:00B'inyan falafelI have some serious thoughts on my mind that I will bezras Hashem post about in the coming days, but for now more shtuyot.<br /><br />I love falafel. Especially Shalom falafel. I can't say that I have any insight into the nature of the geula, but I know that Shalom falafel will play a role. <br /><br />That is why it pained me to such an extent when in the begining of the year my son refused to eat it. My son doesn't like falafel?????-- impossible. He might as well not keep mitzvot (not really-- but kinda). He loves it now so we're good.<br /><br />A story that kind of sums up Israel: Shalom falafel is located on Rechov Betzalel, which is a fairly busy street. Because there is nowhere to park cars often stop in the right lane while their owners go and purchase a falafel. Usually, the owners buy the falafel and get back in their cars so as not to block traffic. However, one night while I was buying a falafel, a man pulled over to get a bite to eat. The street was busy, and his parked car started to cause a traffic jam. Seemingly oblivious, he took his time making his purchase while horns blared in the background. After his falafel was ready, instead of running back to his car and apologizing to all of the people stuck in the jam he created, he ordered a coke, sat down and leisurely ate his meal. This country is great.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-19189497857767832132007-05-01T13:34:00.000-04:002007-05-01T13:36:43.292-04:00OOS weighs in on Winograd<strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Boo!!! Hiss Hiss!!!</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">Olmert stinks!!!</span></strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Just the type of savvy political insight you have come to expect here at the OOS weblog.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27438803.post-51902017749357358322007-04-29T06:00:00.000-04:002007-04-29T06:47:25.027-04:00The real reason we got out of there part II<a href="http://www.nfl.com/draft">Right Here</a><br /><br />Over the past week I have found that a serious fringe benefit of Aliya is not having to listen to countless mindless morons spewing endless nonsense about the NFL draft.<br /><br />For those of the female persuasion let me explain what this event is. The NFL Draft is basically a competition between over sized, girlfriend beating drug addicts to see who can have the most money thrown their way in order to buy the biggest and most blinged out Lincoln Navigator one can possibly imagine. <br /><br />In order to explain to us poor fools what is going on behind the scenes in the "war rooms," legions of illiterate "insiders" continuously break down each players performance since 3rd grade. <br /><br />The fact that they are middle age men scrutinizing 2o year old kids doesn't seem to phase them. The fact that only 25% of the drafted players will still be playing in three years doesn't seem to phase them either. And, amazingly, the fact that spending all of this time on such a wasteful endeavor is a clear sign of how far our society has fallen seems to be lost on them as well.<br /><br />My favorite draft story: When I was in high school I was watching one of these draft specials. One of the segments was a feed from the home of a college tight end who was expected to be drafted at the end of the first round. When he was drafted there was a big celebration. Immediately after all of the hugs and kisses he said to his mother (who seemed to be wearing dollar sign contact lenses), "O.K., lets go get the car." And off they went to their local Lincoln dealer and bought the requisite blinged out Navigator. As this young man stepped into the car he said to the camera, "This is the reward for all of my hard work."<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>What?!?</strong> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Hard work?!?</span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Sorry buddy, cheating your way to a 2.45 GPA is not what I call hard work. Getting free cars and other expensive toys from psychotic boosters is not hard work. Hard work is the guy who gets up at 5:30 in order to learn for a few hours before catching the 8:02. Hard work is the kollel guy putting in 18 hour days in the beis medrash for 500 bucks a month. Hard work was that guy sitting next to you in Survey of European History who delivered pizza in his spare time in order to put himself through college.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Playing a game for millions of dollars will never be hard work in my book no matter how much you sweat.</span><br /><br />But now I am here-- I don't have to deal with that anymore.OOShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14199343018350579798noreply@blogger.com1